Equality

Exactly one month back from today that is 11/07/2023 my mother had a surgery, removal of uterus and ovaries.. I remember feeling scared and anxious as each passing moment made the surgery longer. I remember feeling for a moment how life would be if something even slightly wrong happens. I also remember feeling postive and how this surgery was inevitable, it was not a precaution, it was a necessity. Then finally those 3 hours passed away, most difficult time, but it has been passed.. I was relieved. Ofcourse I knew there will be biopsy and ofcourse I was scared for it.  A little backstory, there's a family history of cancer in my family. My mother's sister had cancer diagnosed at stage four and she died battling for her life. It was painful, the whole process.  Even the before the surgery we went through MRI and other scans, we were safe.. until the biopsy came. In the biopsy there was a little tumor found. It was cancerous. It was a rare high grade cancer, which can be difficu...

Anxiety, something that is more common and more real than ghosts. We all have experienced anxiety in our lives. Going far back in time, learning what anxiety is, why it makes us so nauseous, so uncomfortable. It all started when we were apes, oh I mean our ancestors were apes. Anxiety is a feeling which basically warns animals from any danger, from being prey to attackers. So what basically happens when we are anxious is, the blood flow goes straight to our legs, cutting the flow to our digestive system. There is no way in the world you are feeling anxious and eating food at the same time, it feels like you are going to throw up everything you ever ate. The feeling developed to run, to escape. It has not evolved the way we deal with situations nowadays like sitting in a chair, feeling anxious over public speaking, breakup, or whatever. We are not the prey anymore, there is no need to run, there is no way to just escape this feeling. Now coming on to the second part, the more important...

I was stuck on this question for so long. Love in its purest form does not expect anything in return. It is just a form of giving and being happy to do that. Love is Spritutal. And when i talk about love i am not classifying it as motherly love or romantic kind of love. Love is just Love. It is highest form of surdender. I often found myself in situations when i wanted to keep beliving on this feeling but i didn't feel any happiness in return. Even to my surprise there was pain. There was hurt, for not being treated the way i wished. I tried to nullify these feelings. I still wanted to give love in the purest form. I was still trying to stick on my belief and not expect anything in return. Therefore, i simply adopted a method where i just forgave the other person even without them ask for my forgiveness. I thought it was noble thing. I wanted to restore my faith and feel happy. But there came a point in my life when i stood up and asked myself. Are you really happy? Not expecting...

W 'I understood myself only after i had destroyed myself and only in the process of fixing myself, did i know who i really was' -Sade Andria Zabala' We often come accross situations when we just know we have been wronged, we know the world hasn't been fair with us. We just know, we haven't really done anything to deserve this. At that time, we feel pitty for ourselves, we feel helpless, we find reasons and people to blame for our misery. If you think you have been wronged by a person, remember that you are a person too. Even the world's most horrific killer confess and say that he has a good heart. Does it make him innocennt? No. what was the fault of the person who got killed? Nothing. My point is, there is no sense in waiting to see how karma works, there is no sense in wanting people to change and realise what wrong they have done. You cannot wait for someone to realise their mistake and move ahead in life only when they have realise what wrong...

 I like writing and I like reading as well. I like how writing is a process to express your deepest self without uttering a word yet expressing a lot about how you feel. I like reading, how it is a process of reading the writer without actually knowing the writer.  But for some reason, I stop writing sometimes, Why? I might blame it on my college or how I have to do so many things but I couldn't. However, the real reason is, I feel insecure posting. Like I know, my writing skills are average but it doesn't reach the audience I want to. How there are only 10-12 people who will actually read the whole thing.  Then again, I forgot why do I write in the first place. I write because I like to write not to reach a goal or several people. Many of you might also go through the same dilemma, so just do not forget why you do what you do.  This blog is rather scattered thoughts I tried to pull together into sentences, we are not so ascetic people, after all, we cons...

  "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human's freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." -Viktore.E Frankl  This beautiful extract you just read is from the book "Man's Search for Meaning". Since I just finished reading the book, I wanted to talk about it's "impact". It's the kind of book which stays with you for a lifetime and what makes it so special is it's not exactly a "story book". The first part of the book describes Viktore's experience in a concentration camp, which is a place where minorities or political imprisonment happens. So the book has a very dark start. The author talks about his hopelessness, how difficult it was for him and people around him to find the will to survive, as these people were not thieves or murderers. These people were civilians, normal working class people with a normal job and a normal life just ...

 Some days, its all about spending too much or too little time awake. You be in your room for hours, don't you want to go out a little and enjoy the sun? No. Some days you are just by yourself.  They say "The grass always seems to be greener on the other side". Sometimes it not just seems to be but it is true, the grass is indeed greener on the other side. You sit and think, sometimes for 15 mins sometimes straight for an hour, you just THINK! what have i done not to deserve the completeness other's have? you ask, you keep on asking. No one answers, because you are asking it to yourself and self-answers does not come that easy. Well, maybe there exist no answer. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe the whole purpose of this timeless thinking and questioning is for nothing. Then what is sense? what is the sense of this suffering, this hatred and all these feelings, what is the sense if there is no ray of sunshine at the end of this dark cloud?  All this in...

Recently, we had news and trolls flushing over the internet about "Boys Locker room" than we also had screen shots from "Girls locker room". After that, many people may not now this, there was a news of suicide of a 14 year boy who was also being mocked by a girl for slamming her two years ago. The internet is going crazy everyone is putting their opinions, some in a very harsh way and some in a subtle way. However, i haven't posted a single story about it cause i don't know what should i feel sorry for. Honestly, my heart aches seeing humanity and ethics being shoved down like this everyday. Like seriously, what is happening to humans? All this was and will never be about a particular gender, it will always be about humans. How day by day we are  feeling insecure about ourselves and therefore keep mocking others. But the question still remain, Who is to be blamed for all this happening? One of the major answer of this is going to be our Ed...

" Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody"                                                                                                            -Mark Twain      No one in this whole world is purely good, full of light. Each and every one of us has a dark side, and this darkness does not makes you a bad person the proportion does. Have you ever got mean to someone? or broke someone's heart? If you answer this as no, then think again cause you have everyone of us have. And if your answer was, yes but i had my reasons, then this article is worth a read. " Forgiveness for other is always easier than self forgiveness" Forgiving is always considered to b...

What if I tell you, each time you cried you not only felt good about it later but you realeased tension which was not even a reason why you cried. Okay! When was the last time you cried? Not like one or two drops of tears but you cried so hard that your nose and eyes were watering with same speed.  Chances are their has been a month, a year or even more. No i am not telling you to tear up for no reason. But I am telling you, why do you behave as metal hearted person when all you really want is to crul up like a child and cry? Especially men! What's up with you hiding all of your emotional baggage? Whenever we are pissed off at the maximum level, many shoot, sometimes people punch other people or the wall, break things, hurt other people (physically and emotionally also). And later we regret all this cause we overreacted a bit.  What I am trying to say is, it's okay to be vulnerable at times. It's okay to call your mom and cry out to her about the crap that happe...

Somewhere between saying, " lets just give it one more try"  and " No, i can't  take it anymore"  our life circle ends.  So do you remember your chemistry class when your teacher told you for the first time that everything around us is made up of atoms which consist of a positively charged proton and a negatively charged electron... you all must be thinking why am i screwing up you by taking back to boring chemistry classes. But our life is also just as that atom which has got negativity and positivity, together makes our life neutral. Then it will be at times when you face failure, thinking that everything has come to an end but does it.? DOES THIS IS REALLY THE END? when you come across such question, rethink the situation what is the worst you can get from this failure offcource life is not on its end yet, you will get to know that whether you are overreacting or not. Then think that does this failure have given me something? something good , something to l...

 So.. what does first comes in your mind when you here the word"equality " Some of us maybe thought of women's  right, some of reservation system and some other thought 'oh i am general doesn't  means  anything  to be'.  But does this  is really  equality?  Think... Equality  is not 0.4+0.6, equality  is 0.5+0.5 which makes us one. Government  has given us the source for having equal rights but do we really  know how to use this? Being a girl it is difficult  to say, but girls have got many rights and powers and offcource they deserve this but only a few knows how to use it effectively while many of us are just busy in making  out profits from what we got. We also see now a days some fake cases being  registered  about boys  for teasing  and all and also it is easy to do so, i don't  say that girls don't  deserve  respect , they do deserve and more than boys! All i say is ...