Life gets stuck sometimes

Exactly one month back from today that is 11/07/2023 my mother had a surgery, removal of uterus and ovaries..

I remember feeling scared and anxious as each passing moment made the surgery longer. I remember feeling for a moment how life would be if something even slightly wrong happens. I also remember feeling postive and how this surgery was inevitable, it was not a precaution, it was a necessity. Then finally those 3 hours passed away, most difficult time, but it has been passed.. I was relieved. Ofcourse I knew there will be biopsy and ofcourse I was scared for it. 

A little backstory, there's a family history of cancer in my family. My mother's sister had cancer diagnosed at stage four and she died battling for her life. It was painful, the whole process. 

Even the before the surgery we went through MRI and other scans, we were safe.. until the biopsy came. In the biopsy there was a little tumor found. It was cancerous. It was a rare high grade cancer, which can be difficult to maintain once start spreading. Now this is a blessing in disguise, because what was there is removed. Even just hearing the word cancer people gives people nightmares. I went through hell knowing what's next to come. 

The good news was it has been operated and out from the body, the bad news, there would still be treatment required. 

Cancer has the most reckless yet effective or I should say somehow effective treatment available. We went through PET scan, had to check if there are any cancerous tumor left in the body, luckily we were safe there was nothing in PET scan. 

And exactly after a month, we are sitting in a hospital to have chemotherapy. There would be five more cycles required probably.  And maybe a surgery too. For now we are just sure for the next two chemos to come. 

I had been through hell of a ride in this past month. Lots of tears, lots of faith, lots of dispare yet lots of hope too. 

Me, personally I'm thankful to be here to be with her when it's needed. Yet the thought come along, people my age are living the life, the social life and having different type of struggles in their life. The subtle, normal struggles. Like managing finances, paying rent and having a better job. But for me my whole world changed in just a month, my priorities changed, my struggles changed, my life changed.  

I haven't been out from the city where I live. And ofcourse I would have to stay for more time, end of the year or more maybe. This is not rant blog it's a blog about how life moved at a different pace for everyone. How for me maybe my life would start after a year or so how somebody else my age would be at a better place than me. But how I'm greatful for everything happening, meaning how we are safest we could be with the disease.  How I'm with my family when needed the most. And it's okay, if your life gets stuck somewhere, it's totally okay! Life isn't a race, it's a process.

Let's hope and pray this phase will pass too and we all will be at a better and happier place.